Holding the Empty Cape

Blog 63

“Harker: The sun! The stake, Professor — the stake! Hold him, Doctor.

Seward: I’ve got him.

(Dracula, with loud burst of mocking laughing, goes down trap on the word ‘sun,’ leaving the two men holding the empty cape.)”

Characters in Hamilton Deane and John L. Balderston’s Dracula, based on the novel by Bram Stoker

In early November of 1980, as my ex and I were about to leave Samford University for what turned out to be a year-and-a-half departure to a nearby university, we created the scenery and costumes for Dracula. Working on the show and knowing we were soon departing was a bit harrowing. I had intense love for a number of students we were leaving behind, but the professional situation at the other school seemed to promise so much more.

And I stress the word “seemed”! We left because — at the time — our administration had yet to fully acknowledge affirmative action or the women’s liberation movement. It appeared as if the other college was more advanced in modern egalitarian treatment and the acceptance of women professors as equal to men.

As soon as we got to our new jobs, however, it seemed as if all the assured goodness went down the trap door with Dracula’s mocking laughter, leaving the two of us holding an empty cape. A large chunk of our increased salaries went for such items as parking passes and higher benefit deductions.

In the first thirty days, my car was broken into, my purse was stolen, my office was burgled, all of the food for a patrons’ reception was pillaged from the costume shop, a student was raped on the bridge outside the theatre, and a campus policeman was mugged nearby. When my daughter Elin first walked into the costume shop, where she knew from her Samford experience that she would spend a lot of time, she vomited. Just in the first month!

By June, we were the senior faculty members in the theatre department, as one professor became associate dean, one took a position at another university, and the woman who recruited us went on sabbatical and then changed careers without ever returning. Over the summer, I served as interim department chair, and I had only been there five months! We eventually hired a theatre chairman with whom we were incompatible, and employed a series of temperamental guest directors. The dance department rioted and threatened to secede from the university. My blood pressure shot way up and my anxiety attacks returned. (And I was only 31 years old!)

Naturally, there were great aspects to the job: I had wonderful students. I learned that I enjoyed teaching. And we created really good productions with fun designs and great student acting. However, we wanted to go home! I realize that just about anyone who accepts a new job goes through a transition period to acclimate to new people, new responsibilities, and new environment.

But our expectations were not fulfilled. We probably failed to ask enough questions going in, and we discovered that our previous academic life was not nearly as bad as we had thought. One really hard thing to admit is that you are wrong in your professional judgment, but that is exactly what we did.

Samford had not yet hired anyone to fill our positions, so we restrained that feeling of humiliation, swallowed our pride, and, though it was gut-wrenching, asked for our old jobs back. We admitted we made a mistake, and we were actually welcomed back with a better position for me, as a faculty member as well as costume designer. Was the U-turn worth it? Yes! Yes, it was. “The sun!” The sun was shining on us again