Look, I Didn’t Make a Hat: Giving Up the Hats!
Blog 60
Reworked from the May 11th entry in my book Theatre Is My Life!
“Actually, I swam the moat!”
Princess Winnifred to the Queen in the musical, Once Upon a Mattress with music by Mary Rodgers, lyrics by Marshall Barer, and book by Jay Thompson, Dean Fuller, and Marshall Barer
Once Upon a Mattress opened on May 11, 1959 at the Phoenix Theatre off-Broadway. The musical is famous for being the Broadway debut of Carol Burnett, who originated the role of Princess Winnifred, and who later became a huge television star and stage actor. Our Samford University Theatre’s Winnifred was expertly played by a Freshman named Amy, and our beloved departmental secretary Judy sang in the chorus.
When you teach theatre and constantly create costumes and scenery for plays, you work a lot. In the late 1980s and early ‘90s, over a four or five year period, I had become terribly stressed. Looking back now I see that I had begun to disintegrate personally and professionally. I became over-involved in design work, and developed a terrible workaholic habit. Though theatre is fun, enlightening, exciting work, it is still work.
In 1984 when daughter Elin was eight and son Seth was born, a complex layer was added to our family. One child in the costume shop or backstage is workable but two are somehow triply or even quadruply more complicated to maneuver. I somehow allowed the boundaries between work and personal life to get totally blurred, and got so wrapped up in theatre (and also in rearing children) that I never gave myself any time for relaxation, personal development, hobbies, fun, or distraction.
I knew all this was very wrong, but it was on a subconscious level that I could not yet grasp. In the fall of 1991, a student directed Once Upon a Mattress. I designed the costumes, and, as usual, was overseeing the building of the medieval clothing. We decided to use huge period headpieces that looked complex, but were actually fun and fairly simple to construct.
One whole week, I had some activities that I absolutely had to tend to with Elin and Seth. Since I could hardly be in the shop at all, I left some students in charge, thinking I would come back and have to catch up and construct all of the headdresses.
Lo and behold, when I returned: they had done all the work without me! In fact, Michelle, Lisa, Joe, and the whole crew did an incredibly marvelous job.
Now, here is the lesson I learned. I thought that if I wasn’t overseeing the costume shop every minute of every afternoon, that something would shake the cosmos. But in fact, the theatre department did not fall apart; Samford University did not sink into a great dark hole; and most amazingly, the institution of theatre in America, in the world, and in the entire universe did not suffer a tremendous breakdown with my momentary lack of participation.
I began to give myself a little time outside work to grow and balance myself. I began to go into a library and to a shelf and let myself be led to a volume.
A few weeks after Once Upon a Mattress closed, I was by chance drawn to Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in this way. Devouring this book helped me realize that I could plan some of my day for myself and develop a broad range of interests.
By giving myself permission to take some time for myself, I began writing and creating art again, reading for pleasure, walking and exercising, beginning a spiritual routine, and establishing new friendships. My panic attacks ceased, my head cleared, and my spirit began to soar as if I had been released from prison. I felt as if I could swim a moat and not despair if anyone thought that was odd or unladylike. I credit my experience with Once Upon a Mattress for this newfound freedom which has continued to morph and grow, even to this day.
Have you swum a moat lately?